Thoughts by Erica
just a girl who is allowing God to use her in every way
While reading in Luke about when the angel Gabriel was sent to Mary to tell her about how she was to give birth to Jesus, I came across a verse that was so simple yet so powerful For no word from God will ever fail. Luke 1:37. I don’t know why this verse stuck out to me so much, I guess because it hit a nerve about a situation I am facing right now but nonetheless it packs a heavy punch. Since no word from God will ever fail means that no matter what God has told us, it shall come to pass. This doesn’t mean that it will happen right away but in his timing, it will happen. Often times when God tells us something and it doesn’t happen when we think it should, we begin to question whether it was God or not. God doesn’t call us to doubt but to have faith that he will do exactly what he says he will. After reading this small verse, I went to the King James version to see if it was exactly the same. For with God nothing shall be impossible. One thing I love to do is read stories about people that have overcome great obstacles through their faith in God, especially ones about healing. Different people who have battled with terminal diseases have been told by doctors that they wouldn’t live but God said otherwise and because of that faith, he healed them. For with God nothing shall be impossible. No matter how impossible something seems, no matter how much others say it cannot happen, if God said it then that settles it. His word will not return back to you void. Take a second and clear your mind and listen for God to speak to you and hang on to what he says and it due season watch it come to pass and if doubt comes to your mind just remember Luke 1:37!
Be blessed
Erica
You ever had a situation where you felt never ending stress and worry? Or you would temporary feel ok about something then slowly but surely those negative feelings would creep back up? Times like that can be mentally, emotionally and physically draining but since we have such a mighty God, he promises us peace in these times of trouble. There were times where I knew in my heart that God was there working things out but I didn’t allow myself to receive the peace he readily gives to us when we need it.
For instance there was a time where I was going through something pretty tough and I was up and down CONSTANTLY and it was really taking a toll on me. Well I remember sitting in class started googling scriptures on peace and started writing them down one after another and began reading them to myself. ( it was seriously hitting me hard for me to stop paying attention in class to do this- prime example about how pressing this was) As I gradually kept reading I felt the burdens I was feeling start to lift off of me. God’s word says that he cannot lie and many times we forget that God can fix ANYTHING including those emotional burdens we feel when life hits us.
I am writing this to say to you that in times of trouble God will always give you peace when you need it. He doesn’t want his children to be worried and burdened down with the cares of this world. Take his word for the truth put your faith to use. He are a few of my favorite scriptures about peace.
Colossians 3:15
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Psalm 4:8
I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. This one is my absolute favorite. It says he does not give to us as the world gives. Often times we look for peace and comfort in worldly things such as alcohol, drugs, sex etc…things that are temporary that lead to greater consequences, but His word says that what he gives is different and I know from experience that it is much more powerful and everlasting.
John 16:33
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Psalm 29:11
The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.
Rom 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
One last thing, Continue to thank Him for the peace that he has given you!
Be blessed!
Erica
I think it’s really important for Christians to be real about their struggles and be willing to be open about the things we go through so I want to share a little something that I have been dealing with for the past week or so.
I haven’t been the most pleasant person lately…in other words I’ve had a straight up attitude and I didn’t care who I was rude to. Now normally this isn’t me but there have been a few things really bugging me lately. I’ve been home for break for the last 3 weeks which means I’ve been spending more time around my parents and everything they did or said to me made me angry. In my eyes everything they did was wrong and I was right. Now I talked to my mom about something that was legit bothering me and she understood but that wasn’t good enough for me and I continued to get more and more angry. Instead me getting on knees and praying about these things, I continued to point fingers and it was only making me feel worse and run from God because I knew I was wrong. Well I was finally ready to start feeling better so I got out my prayer journal and was only able to get out once sentence to God before he directed me to His word. I began reading James and it was literally everything that I had been dealing with.
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. James 1:19-21
I was letting my anger get the best of me which was producing a lot of other ungodly things. How could I expect God to answer my prayers if I was being rude and thinking horrible things about his people?
If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,”t you are doing right.9 But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. James 2:8-9
I found myself going out of my way to be nicer to my mom than my dad because he was the one I was really angry with. I know it sounds silly but that’s happens when we let anger and other negative emotions get the best of us…makes us do really dumb stuff.
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. James 3:9-12
Here I was praying and asking God for things and thanking him and then in a split second I was mumbling things under my breath at my parents.
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. James 4:1-2
My attitude came from a lot of selfish desires and my own stubbornness to not talk about what I was really feeling. Probably could have solved a lot of this if I just would have calmly opened my mouth and came to them respectfully.
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7
Yeaaaaaaa, I was pretty much feeding into everything he was telling me. Wasn’t doing too much fleeing as I should have.
There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor? James 4:12
It seemed as though I could only see what was being “done” wrong to me and all I could do was point fingers and judge them for not doing what was right. But it’s not my job and never will be to judge others. My parents are human just like everyone else. They do their best by me and sometimes make mistakes. It was easy for me to say “you’re the parent so you should be doing this, or you shouldn’t be doing that” but In all actuality I have no clue about things they could be going through or the stress they have in their life. Who am I to be this ungrateful child that handles conflict in such an immature manner?
I’m really glad we have such a loving and merciful God that can forgive me over and over for the things that I do. Things aren’t always perfect in my family but I know my prayers can go a lot further than anything else. During all of this I forgot one thing…
The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:6
I was always told that God was our provider for everything that we need, not only tangible things but also for comfort, peace and love….wait love? Nah that’s ok God, I’ll get a boyfriend for that.
For about 5 or so years of my life, I set out on this quest to never be alone. I always had to be in some sort of relationship where I was constantly validated and had someone I could run to day or night for any of my emotional needs. I never knew until God showed me that my pattern of behavior was destructive and contrary to how he designed things to be for us.
Being a young teenager, having boyfriends just seemed to be something that you just did. Typically, they were nothing serious but as time progressed for me, they became something I felt I couldn’t function without and the enemy definitely used this to his advantage. One big mistake I made was I began reading these romance novels by the stack. You know the ones that get you so sucked in that you actually feel kind of sad when they end? Well those were my life, so much that I began to live in this fantasy world where I thought that this is how relationships are supposed to work and what things are acceptable in relationships. Well none of these books depicted anything close to how God wants us to operate with the opposite sex whether married or single. So here I am about 15 with a distorted image of relationships and marriage. This is something bad just waiting to happen.
So I get a boyfriend and all of a sudden my world is great! I feel loved, cherished, needed, and I am on top of the world. Then all a sudden, things go terribly wrong.
What is this? This isn’t supposed to happen! Well you know what? Forget you! I’ll just go get someone else who will treat me right!
“Don’t worry Erica, just get a new boyfriend and you’ll be happy again, so and so has liked you for a while anyway.” One of the lies the enemy fed me for oh so long.
So here I am with my new guy and everything is more fabulous this time than before! I feel loved, cherished, needed oh and my parents actually like this guy unlike the last one. Well things got rocky as they do in any relationship but I was determined to make this work no matter what. I couldn’t possibly be by myself. Who would love me? Who would tell me how special I was? Things turned from bad to worse and I was constantly tormented by the lies the enemy fed me.
“You weren’t good enough, He’s with her now because she is better than you, He never cared about you in the first place, nobody will ever fully love you.”
Day and night I battled with trying to deal with all the hurt I was going through, so much that I began to lose weight, I was physically nauseas all the time and I was stressed. I remember specifically a time where any ordinary girl would have been ecstatic for this to happen to her. It was my senior year of high school and I was standing on stage about to be crowned Homecoming Queen and with a fake smile plastered on my face all I could think about was,
“I wonder if he’s gonna go hang with her tonight once I go home.”
When I finally got enough strength to leave this toxic situation that lasted 4 years, I really didn’t know what to do with myself. I was hurt and broken and badly needed to feel whole again. So I did what I was used to and ran into the arms of someone new and once again I felt loved, cherished and needed. This time however my family and friends were like “Erica, get to know yourself, you’re always in a relationship, learn how to be alone.”
“Be alone? For what? And for the record I already know who I am. I like to read, my favorite color is green, and I’m going to be a famous news anchor one day! What else do I need to know?
Well I didn’t know myself and the woman God created me to be and on top of that I had a lot of things inside of me that I would refuse to deal with and allow God to heal me from. I once heard a saying that “Hurt people, hurt people.” And that is exactly what I did. Instead of being on the side where I was the one that Got hurt, I really hurt the person I was with and I was so messed up because of how I was feeling about myself that I didn’t care. Even to this day, even though I know that wasn’t the person that God had for me, I still get angry with myself for the way I treated him.
Well once that relationship ended, I decided to give it one more try and guess what?
(reply “what!?” with enthusiasm)
It ended the same way the rest did….
Once that happened the enemy stepped in right on time with those same lies…
“You weren’t good enough, there is something wrong with you, just give up because no one is ever going to love you”
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!
By this time I had a choice to make, either I was going to run into the arms of another or I was going to do it God’s way, I decided to take rest in God’s loving arms. Now this wasn’t easy by any means. My mind was accustomed to blocking out pain with new relationships but I was determined to do things differently, besides, my way wasn’t getting me anywhere. I found myself in a pattern that kept repeating itself.
In a short amount of time God allowed me to see so much about myself. One of the first things He showed was that I didn’t see myself as worthy of much. I didn’t feel important unless I had a boyfriend and God showed me through his word that how great of a creation I am.
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13
So eventually I got to the point where I finally saw myself in the way God sees me, a wonderful creation with a purpose. However there was still that longing to be loved. Now let me clarify something here, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanted to be loved and wanting to love others, God innately put that inside of us. Now how we handle this is what gets us tripped up. When you go looking for others to give you something God has already given you, then many times we step out of his will and end up disappointed. I had to learn that God loves me unconditionally and it would take me being willing enough to feel what he had been trying to give me all along.
“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; Psalm 103:11
During this time I actually began to cultivate a relationship with God. Not only did I begin to see him in a different light but I saw how much he loved and cared for me and I began to study his word about how he designed marriage and how it was ok for me to be single and the importance of this time of singleness. And you know what? It’s really not so bad after all!
By this time I began to feel on top of the world and for once in my life it had nothing to do with a guy but there was still something that needed to be done. I made it through the steps of allowing God to rebuild my self-esteem and allowing him to love on me but I still felt the sting of my past. You know those moments where you feel like you’re over something and then something reminds you of it and then you feel the pain all over again? Well I was having those moments a little too often. I prayed about it then God revealed to me that I needed to be healed of my past and had to let go of what happened. Now I always knew God was a healer of physical ailments but I never thought he would heal me emotionally.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
In all honesty, I can say that I am still in the healing process, some things to take time but I am so much further along than where I started. I know my God is faithful to do exactly what he said he would do.
In sharing all of this I hope to maybe help anyone who has felt like me. If you are someone who feels the constant need to be in a relationship, take the time to stop and ask God to show you why and allow him to fill any voids in your life. God longs to have a relationship with each and everyone one of us and sometimes we get so wrapped up in relationships and other things that we forget who loved us first. If you’ve been hurt or currently going through something ask God to heal your heart and restore you because that isn’t something he wants us to feel. If you’re in a season of singleness, IT IS OK! God has you there for a purpose and a reason! Use that time to grow and get to know him and allow him to prepare you for the one that he has for you and have faith that he will do it!
“And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” Mark 9:23
~Erica
Lately God has been really placing it on my heart to exercise my gift of writing so I decided to give blogging a shot. For a while I wasn’t quite sure what to talk about but it came to me to simply talk about what it’s like being a newly saved young Christian.
Before I got saved, I always knew eventually that I’d make the choice to give my life to Christ but my plan was to “soil my royal oats” just a bit. The problem was when I was trying to follow the crowd, it didn’t feel right. I came from a structured Christian home so I just thought that since my parents instilled so much in me that was the reason why I couldn’t be like everyone else. Little did I know that God had so much more for me. Well I finally gave in frustration and gave my life over. I know this decision was delayed for a while because I knew I would have to give up a lot…or so I thought. I now see that was a trick of the enemy to try and keep me away from salvation. He will try and make you feel like you won’t belong anymore and that you will end up living this boring life trying to chase perfection that you cannot achieve and I didn’t want any part of that.
Another thought I had prior was COULD I actually give up some of things that became so normal to me but was against God’s word? Some of the things I dealt with had a pretty strong hold on me. However I learned that God is the ultimate deliverer, and when you allow him to come in and renew and change your heart that you will no longer desire the things of this world. And what do ya know, he did just that. God truly makes our burdens light and helps us to understand our past. One thing he did for me was he showed me the driving forces behind my actions that weren’t pleasing to him. There is a root to everything we do whether it being good or bad.
One thing I want to really share with you all is that when you decide to make that step, God can and will change so much for you. I am a living testimony to that. I thought once I got saved I would be alone and no one would understand me but I am surrounded my so many other Christian men and women who are on the same path as me and he will do the same for you. Don’t the let the enemy trick you any longer. You can still have a enjoyable and memorable College career that will be even more fulfilling than you could ever imagine.
