Thoughts by Erica

Way out of line

I think it’s really important for Christians to be real about their struggles and be willing to be open about the things we go through so I want to share a little something that I have been dealing with for the past week or so.

I haven’t been the most pleasant person lately…in other words I’ve had a straight up attitude and I didn’t care who I was rude to. Now normally this isn’t me but there have been a few things really bugging me lately. I’ve been home for break for the last 3 weeks which means I’ve been spending more time around my parents and everything they did or said to me made me angry. In my eyes everything they did was wrong and I was right. Now I talked to my mom about something that was legit bothering me and she understood but that wasn’t good enough for me and I continued to get more and more angry. Instead me getting on knees and praying about these things, I continued to point fingers and it was only making me feel worse and run from God because I knew I was wrong. Well I was finally ready to start feeling better so I got out my prayer journal and was only able to get out once sentence to God before he directed me to His word. I began reading James and it was literally everything that I had been dealing with.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. James 1:19-21

I was letting my anger get the best of me which was producing a lot of other ungodly things. How could I expect God to answer my prayers if I was being rude and thinking horrible things about his people?

If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,”t you are doing right.9 But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. James 2:8-9

I found myself going out of my way to be nicer to my mom than my dad because he was the one I was really angry with. I know it sounds silly but that’s happens when we let anger and other negative emotions get the best of us…makes us do really dumb stuff.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. James 3:9-12

Here I was praying and asking God for things and thanking him and then in a split second I was mumbling things under my breath at my parents.

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. James 4:1-2

My attitude came from a lot of selfish desires and my own stubbornness to not talk about what I was really feeling. Probably could have solved a lot of this if I just would have calmly opened my mouth and came to them respectfully.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7

Yeaaaaaaa, I was pretty much feeding into everything he was telling me. Wasn’t doing too much fleeing as I should have.

 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor? James 4:12

It seemed as though I could only see what was being “done” wrong to me and all I could do was point fingers and judge them for not doing what was right. But it’s not my job and never will be to judge others. My parents are human just like everyone else. They do their best by me and sometimes make mistakes. It was easy for me to say “you’re the parent so you should be doing this, or you shouldn’t be doing that” but In all actuality I have no clue about things they could be going through or the stress they have in their life. Who am I to be this ungrateful child that handles conflict in such an immature manner?

I’m really glad we have such a loving and merciful God that can forgive me over and over for the things that I do. Things aren’t always perfect in my family but I know my prayers can go a lot further than anything else. During all of this I forgot one thing…

The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:6